Moxi Drama for Yo Mama

For those of you who don't know what a Moxi is, allow me to introduce itself....it's name is Mox-ohhh, M to the oxi.

The World's Best HD DVR…, no joke. Anyone who's ever had a Moxi, knows exactly what I'm talking about.

* * * *

My husband and I were first introduced to Moxi way back when Adelphia use to service West LA. Time Warner, the crushing media mogul that it is, bought out Adelphia, and although our service provider changed, our DVR did not. That is until one day, our beloved Moxi died :(

When TWC came to replace it, they gave us something made by Motorola. Like everything Motorola makes, it failed miserably. First and foremost, the interface doesn't even compare. See below. It says COX in the corner, but it's the same box, same interface.



I mean, scroll back up and compare the two. Doesn't, right? We went from cruising down the street in our '64 to riding the carpool lane in a Ford Fusion (i.e. no longer super-fly).

Second of all, there's too often a response delay from the remote to the DVR. If I hit the "menu" button, it could take up to 5-10 seconds for the DVR to process this signal. Sometimes it doesn't even process the signal at all. We've accidentally deleted shows we were watching because the DVR will pick and choose what remote signals it wants to accept that day. GRRR mediocre technology.

Third, and leading off of second, the DVR has the ability to become possessed. I'm not even joking. Check out this video below. It says Comcast, but it's made by Motorola. How did Motorola snag all these contracts? Oh I know, by producing super cheap boxes and passing that savings off to the cable companies. This Motorola box would regularly freak out and turn to the religious channel for no reason at all.



Our Moxi never fell to the temptations of the devil.

* * * *

Anyways...after a month, maybe, of putting up with this inferior box, we called TWC, and we're like, give us back our Moxi. They said they couldn't. This will be TWC's theme for the rest of this post.

They said they had discontinued their contract with Moxi (which I'm not sure they even had one in the first place), and the only way to get a Moxi was to purchase one on our own (which you know, run about $800) or try to get our hands on a refurbished one, which was highly unlikely. Apparently, they get snatched up pretty quick. You know, because they rule and all. Okay....we accepted our fate. That was until...

We went over to my bff's Court's house (aka Downtown Brown), and she and her husband (Bri Bri) HAD a Moxi. Let me recount the dialogue as I remember.

Me: "You guys have a Moxi?!"
Bri Bri: "Yeah, so awesome"
Me: "They [TWC] told us you couldn't get a Moxi anymore."
Bri Bri: "That's a lie. They have them."

* * * *

A lie?!?! So about a week or two ago, I was inspired by frustration to call TWC again and level with the customer service agent. If we don't get a Moxi, we're going to DirecTV. This was not an empty threat. My husband unfortunately is a Browns fan, and he covets Direct's NFL package. We never get Cleveland games on the West Coast. You know, unless they're going to get beaten by a really popular team or something.

* * * *

First the rep tells me, while he could send a technician to my house to replace the box, the technician probably won't have a Moxi on him.

Um...then what's the point?

Then he explains, the best way to get a Moxi is to bring my old box into THEIR offices, and see if they have one in stock.

Really? The best way to get you, my service provider, to replace my DVR with a Moxi....is for me to come to you. That's the laziest customer service ever. Even lazier than the model Ikea has set up. I mean, who pays who around here?

However, they make promises that they will try their best to show up with a Moxi.

* * * *

After that conversation and some Facebook feedback, (see below)



I contacted TWC again re: the matter. Here's the transcript from that online chat, dated 10/6/09.

* * * *

user Amanda_ has entered room

analyst Wilson has entered room

Wilson> Thank you for contacting Time Warner Cable. We are currently testing our live chat function and appreciate your patience. At the end of our chat you will be given the option of taking a brief survey. Hi! My name is Wilson. Please give me a moment while I access your account.

Wilson> I will assist you with your inquiry about the DVR.

Amanda_> K, right now i have an appt for a cableman to come over and replace my dvr

Amanda_> i hate it

Amanda_> i've asked for a moxi, but you guys can't guarantee it

Amanda_> i've heard the only way i can get a moxi is to go down to the time warner building and get one there

Amanda_> how do i do that?

Amanda_> do i just show up? do i have to bring my old box?

Wilson> Unfotunately, we cannot guarantee any model or brand of box.

Amanda_> i know that, and i'm going to leave Time Warner if I don't get a moxi, but that's besides the point

Wilson> You need to go with your old DVR.

Wilson> With your photo ID.

Amanda_> K, so i have to disconnect it myself?

Wilson> There will be no charge for the exchange.

Wilson> Yes, you need to disconnect it your self.

Amanda_> and bring it, exchange it, and then set it up myself?

Wilson> Correct.

Amanda_> and that's my best shot at getting a moxi, because you guys won't bring me one?

Wilson> It is that we will not deliver one, it is that we cannot guarantee that the technician will take a Moxi box for you.

Amanda_> Why?

Amanda_> Dont' you have computers that can capture data like that?

Wilson> Because, if there is no Moxi boxes at the time you have the schedule the technician will take another brand.

Amanda_> Couldn't we just be contacted and put on a wait list?

Wilson> There is no wait list to get a Moxi box.

Amanda_> But, if I requested a moxi, and you didn't have it in stock, someone could create a wait list, right?

Wilson> I apologize for the inconvenience this may cause you. However there is no wait list to get a Moxi box, we cannot create a wait list for it.

Amanda_> No. You can. You will not. Correct?

Wilson> We are not able to make a wait list for it. There is no way for us to contact the warehouse to make a wait list.

Amanda_> None of that makes sense.

Amanda_> There's no way, humanly possible to contact the warehouse

Amanda_> no phone number, no email address

Wilson> I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you.

Amanda_> how do you business with them if you can't contact them?

Wilson> We do not have their phone number, or the e-mail address.

Amanda_> Then how do you do business with them?

Wilson> We place the order, the technician read the order and he goes to the warehouse to get the necessary equipment.

Amanda_> So you do have contact with the warehouse?

Wilson> The technician has contact with the warehouse.

Amanda_ And the technician will not make a wait list, correct?

Wilson> Correct, I am not able for policies reasons, to place and order to make a wait list for a Moxi box.

Amanda_> That's fine. Can you email me that policy?

Wilson> Sorry, they are company policies.

Amanda_> Okay. Well, I hope things work out

Wilson> You want me to find the closest store for you?

Amanda_> I believe it's on Nebraska

Wilson> Okay.

Wilson> Is there anything else I can help you with?

Amanda_> No.Thank you.

* * * *

It's like dealing with a government agency.

* * * *

I even tried reaching out to Moxi via their Facebook fan page to get to the bottom of this.



I didn't get a response. Since I like you and all Moxi, a little social networking for brands 101: Don't set up a two way communication channel if you don't want to participate in the conversation. By ignoring potential advocates, you run the risk of alienating them. FYI.

* * * *

Anyways.........last weekend the TWC technician came out, and he didn't have a box. Sort of half expected. We sent him back, and I told him we were switching to DirecTV. Again, not an empty threat. I don't make them. I've walked home on more than one occasion. In fact, I think I jumped on the computer in front of the technician and looked up DirecTV. Apologetic, the man left. End scene.

Or.....so I thought.......

Low and behold, Tafty gets a call Wednesday from TWC saying they have a box and want to come out Thursday. We schedule for Saturday...and ta da!



Moxi is back in effect....with a slight catch. Time Warner doesn't carry the new sexy boxes.



Super sexy, right? And they connect to the internet and do things like download Netflix movies and import your Flickr photos. Yesssss...I want on so bad.

Instead, we were able to get our hands on an old Moxi, the same Moxi we use to have. Unfortunately, the old boxes don't have the HDMI hook-up. Tafty is telling me it'll be fine. Meaning, he'd rather have me win this Moxi fight and sacrifice a little definition. Just a little. He works in post, so it's kind of important to him.

But so is my happiness.

UPDATE: Purple Lab Kiss in Tell Promotion

This is a long over due update. About a month and a half ago (I know, long over due), I received the following email from Brickfish prizing!!!!!!!

* * * *

Hey Amanda, (<----Kind of informal right?)

It is our pleasure to inform you that you have been selected as a Most Viral winner in the Purple Lab “Kiss and Tell Your Huge Lips Skinny Hips I.D.” campaign!! Congrats, you will be named a Purple Lab "Multi-Tasking Maven." As such, you will receive 2 colors of your choice from the Huge Lips Skinny Hips collection as well as exclusive access to pre-launch products!

* * * *

Um, hell yeah. Exclusive access to pre-launch products? Two words I love, "exclusive" and "pre-launch." The ten most viral entries were chosen as "Most Viral Winners." I ended up ranking #7 out of the ten with a score of 523, 1620 views and eight reviews. Not bad considering there was 461 entries. Below is a snapshot of my viral meter. I'm hot!!!



Pretty ironic that a media buyer ends up winning most viral entry. The beauty of it? I didn't even really push it that hard (mostly because it's a picture of me on a pole in my living room. But whatevs, I'm an S-Factor student. An upper level student at that these days).

Most viral entry..........Hmmmm.. maaybee.........somebody knows something about how this whole internet thing? Shhh...wouldn't want that getting out.

- Big Shot, Multi-Tasking Maven

Any Taft Can Cook

It's true. Case in point, Tafty's brilliant tortilla soup.




Yum. So yum, he made it twice this week. The recipe is ridiculously simple. We upgraded on the salsa buying some Santa Babara type chipotle mixture and skipped the chicken. Where am I going to get shredded chicken? Haven't figured that out quite yet. Stay tuned for more delicious challenges.

She's just my type...........she's Tafty

Last week, I made this.......Ta Da.........



* * * * *

after copying it from this.............Ta Da........


Heart Fish, Let it Swim

* * * * *

who copied it from this............Ta Da.......



AngiePea, Vintage Wood Type and Letterpress

* * * * *

This whole thing started after I bought a shadow box to house and display my many, many "wedding mementos." A project I've been putting off. After all, it was the best damn branded wedding ever attended (actual feedback from a guest, thank you). So now, I'm left with a sampling of napkins, programs, save the dates, misc accessories, etc.....etc.......etc. I spent, I think, a total of two nights in front of the TV; arranging and rearranging everything in a classic, clean and modern .....way??? But, it just kept coming out crafty.

Ew.

Kind of like this.



* * * * *

So I gave up on that idea.

But.......still had this shadow box in my possession; now without a purpose.

After numerous "shadow box ideas" Google searches, I found Heart Fish's blog and their copycat wood type. I ended up buying the letters off of eBay which were WAY cheaper than any letter sellers on Etsy, and I'm quite impressed with how it turn out.

And.......there's hidden code in my letters. It's probably hard to tell from the photo, but "Taft", "Tafty", "CT", "AT", "17", etc.....etc.....etc....are all in there. In fact every letter has a purpose.

Taking Notes from Nate on Chic Living

Nate Berkus...how we love you. You take everything, and make it more beautiful than we ever imagined.



Martha has nothing on you. And Colin? He's just a bit too dramatic at times. But you...you are perfect.

I've been on Oprah.com a lot lately, if you can tell. The season is back and off the hook. I've also been redoing my living room (as much as you can in a rental) and looking for style inspiration. Enter Nate and his "Decorating Essentials".

He lists eight total essentials from antique chairs to funky lamps, but my favorite decorating essential? Framing old notes. Nate suggests displaying old notes from important people in your life by framing them. I framed a note from Tafty below.



He wrote it on a piece of scrap paper while I was sleeping and left it for me to find in the morning. It was while we were engaged, and although the photo isn't great, the last line reads, "I can't wait to marry you". I heart him.

And Nate.

Baby Steps in the Kitchen

My mother didn't teach me how to cook. She knows how to cook, and I've seen her cook. I've actually eaten her food on occasion, and it's good. But this domestic skill set was never passed on to me.

For one, I don't think she had a lot of time. She spent half of my childhood working in corporate America, and the other half starting up her own graphic design business. Dinner was usually served before she got home by my father and consisted of anything you could make in a toaster oven. Think bagel bites and chicken nuggets. I had no complaints.



Reason number two, I don't think it was important to her. Although she never voiced it, I got the impression and would carry on the sentiment that successful women don't cook. Cooking was an expectation of a homemaker, not a business woman. A business woman brings in the bacon. She doesn't serve it up. And without going through my parents' family history and/or a sociology dissertation involving the implications of the ERA act on generation x and y.......my expectation was to receive a college degree, join the workforce and not need to know things like how to cook.

* * * * *

So because of all of this, the first time I ever attempted making anything (like actually cooking, not baking - there's a difference), I was out of the house. In college. It was mashed potatoes. And it didn't go well.

I ruined a pot.

Burned it from the inside out.

How? Well, the recipe didn't call for water. So I didn't add it. My parents thought this was "just rich", but come on, why would I know to add water? Oh, because anyone who knows anything about a stove, knows that. Clearly, I did not, and would table cooking and my attempts for approximately the next 5-7 years.

* * * * *

Fast forward to today. Inspired by fellow blogger/college comrade, Pammyh (sorry Moonlighting Fooditor, your culinary prowess is too intimidating), and the relatively new chicness associated with simple homemade gourmet, I've set out with the mission to cook at least ONE beautiful meal a week with the help of Sam the Cooking Guy.



I heart Sam. Sam the Cooking Guy says that if you knew how to cook better, you'd eat better, and he's right. He's not a fancy chef. He's a cook, and his cooking is efficient, healthy and easy. I love all these things.

* * * * *

Last night, my first meal on this new mission was....... drum roll please..... Sam's Pepper Halibut with Salsa Cream.


Ta da!!!

Impressive, right? It took about 20 minutes to make with prep. It was delicious.

Don't think Tafty is just sitting back and reaping all the rewards. He's making one meal a week as well. Updates to follow.

Big Shot Blogger Victory!

Mi shout out esta aqui!



Gracias, Purple Lab!

Donde Esta Mi Shout Out, Purple Lab?

No esta aqui.



Um, I sat through FIVE of these 5 to 7 minute long YouTube videos, only NOT to see "Big Shot Kitty Pole Dancer" be called out. I do not understand what is happening. In case you forgot, see below (and vote!)

Kiss and Tell Your Huge Lips Skinny Hips I.D. Sponsored by Purple Lab

The good news, is that I'm up in rank. Top 100, at 95. And my viral meter is warm.

We heart To27.com

This was To27.com's email blast that went out last Friday. Last Friday to approx 23,000+ readers. Hey-o!!

Claudia Chan, pres of Shecky's (as in Shecky's Girls Night)and the co-founder of To27.com, emailed me last week and asked if they could use my Nacho Story as their feature cover. Like, the whole Nacho ordeal was pretty amazing...but this buzz is beginning to rival it. I've gone from 300 to 1,000 uniques in a month.

XOXO To27.com

Barney's Warehouse Sale Today

The Barney's Warehouse Sale began this A.M.!! Running through the 23rd, it has a new location at the Convention Center Downtown. I know. I feel the same way. I miss the hanger.



Couldn't be better timing. I have an event in two weeks and a line item of mad money burning a whole in my bank register. It's just taking up space there. Not even accruing interest. It would be much better invested at the sale.

* * *

I'm going to try to make it out this Sunday. Expect pics.

In case you missed it on FB & Twitter

I am a Hamptons superstar. My brief, yet fated brush with Nacho has propelled me into 15 minutes of East Coast blogger stardom.

Check out my screen shots and links below: 

 Guest of Guest - Hamptons 

 *  *  *  *  *

 To27 - Feel free to  rate my story 5 stars on To27. I already have. 

 *  *  *  *  *

Guess I should work on conquering my own coast now.

My Hamptons Host Gift

Ta Da!


Isn't it the cutest? And totally appropriate. Back in May, Dwell declared this little grill the hot pick of the day. I just found it at Anthro and thought it would be perfect.

And I was right. Our hosts loved it! Or at least, they were very polite. I'm not easily offended when it comes to gift reciprocation. I'm picky, so I don't expect anyone else not to be. I try my best, but gift receipts are always included. Always.

Chow suggested I make something. Make something? The only thing I know how to make............is a drink.

Top Five Hampton Recos for SoCal Natives

So, I was only in the Hamptons for a couple of days, but below are my top five Hampton recos for SoCal natives. These tips are NOT for NoCal natives. No tips for them.

# 1 Prior to your departure, check out Guest of a Guest, the Hamptons section.



Great social Hamptons resource. I used it primarily for the party pics; wanted to check out the scene. However, I quickly fell in love with the editorial. It's like the Fug Girls meets Page 6 cut with sugar. If they ever expand to the West Coast, sign me up.

# 2 Don't take the Jitney. Nobody does. Yeah, Sex and The City and Gossip Girl are big fat liars. Apparently, the only people that take the Jitney are the help. However, there is a luxury alternative (of course) to the Jitney....The Hampton Luxury Liner.



Liner is complete with leather seats, DirecTV and wireless internet.



However, if you're really looking for a luxury alternative, there's always the heli. $750 will take you from the City to the Hamptons in 45 minutes. You can't beat that.



#2.5 While we're on the topic of transportation, avoid the 27.



The 27 is a two/one lane highway, the only highway, in the Hamptons. Everyone gives LA such a hard time for its traffic, but every time I visit NY, I'm like really? In NY, sometimes it's actually faster to walk than to sit in traffic. LA, no such luck. I write this after a 15 mile hour commute. However.....there was an accident. The 27, no accidents..........dreadful.



My first LA reaction to 27 traffic was, why don't they just expand the road? I mean, obviously, right?

Um, no.

How dare I suggest to make it easier to get to the Hamptons. That's apart of mystique. If you made the Hamptons more accessible, that's exactly what it would become...more accessible. More New Jidiots would leave their shore, and I don't believe this town is big enough for two Real Housewives casts.


Is Simon still not gay yet?

* * *

We were lucky enough to be teamed up with Hampton veterans who knew all of the back roads to avoid 27. The backroads are a maze, and I don't suggest it without a guide and/or iPhone.

# 3 Bring buy spray..especially if attending polo. Farms = bugs. And I didn't know this, but the Hamptons are like in the woods. Yeah, there's a beach and everything....bordering the woods. Woods= bugs. Plus, I don't think my organic coco based spray tan really helped the situation. I have 15 bites (I counted) below my knees. My feet got it the worse. The bites, however, do match nicely with the bruise on my knee from the subway turnstile. Oh, the battle scares of fabulosity.

#4 Prep it out. So, after spending the weekend in East Hampton, I do have to say, it wasn't a giant culture shock from LA. Same attitude, different money....less jeans, more khaki. I did discovered critter shorts however.



Okay, they don't sell critter shorts in SoCal. Not in LA at least. Maybe in the OC, but we disregard everything OC. Until last weekend, I didn't even know such shorts existed. However, I embrace them now. Currently scouting.

#5 Best touristy non-tourist move? Dinner reservations at Nick & Toni's. Located in East Hampton, it's the Waverly Inn of the Hamptons.



Whatever you do, order the Tartufo desert. If you have a late reservation, call ahead and make sure they save you one. Ridiculousness. It's a giant ball of caramel, gelatto and biscotti and the size of cantaloupe.

Muah!

Nacho Figueras Shrine Blog

Okay, so I totally owe another dedicated post about my fabulous weekend in the Hamptons...what I learned and what I will take with me (like bugspray next time)...however, the most AMAZING story ever is about to be told.

It involves me (well, me, Tafty and another couple)......Nacho Figueras....and the perfect storm. If you were like me a week ago and had NO idea who Nacho Figueras was, see video below. It sets a nice stage.


"I play No. 2"

So...we go to Bridgehampton Polo Saturday. I'm so Hamptons at this point, right? It was Ralph Lauren's Black Watch team against...I don't know, the white team. Who cares? From the minute we received our scoring cards, my friend (who invited us to her Hamptons home.....aka the best friend you could have), pointed out Nacho's name and gave me the low down: he's the Michael Jordan of Polo and the new face of Ralph Lauren. Oh, and he's freakin gorgeous.

Got it.

So instantly, I want a #2 jersey. I haven't even seen him play. But I can't help it. I'm a USC Trojan and a Los Angeles Laker fan. I like to win. I saw several girls at the match wearing these dresses.



Black Watch Big Pony Polo Dress, $225
So preppy fab...FYI, East Hamptons has reawakened my inner prepster. Scouting critter shorts (which are impossible to find on the West Coast) currently.

While I want to say I watched the polo game, I mostly drank sponsored Stoli and watched the Hamptonites. If you like a good people watch, I HIGHLY recommend Bridgehampton Polo. It's quite a scene.

Check out this clip from Plum TV: Bridgehampton Polo Fashion. Gives you a taste of what I'm referring to. Plum TV actually holds a special place in my heart. I was so excited to see them at the match. I put them on the buy two years ago for the LS, and our broadcast buyers have yet been able to get rid of them. Ahhh, that makes me laugh. My broadcast legacies go like this, "Why is x still on the buy?"

* * *



Me....stomping divots. I'm so Hamptons at this point, right? One of two of my life long Pretty Woman fantasies fulfilled right here. The other Pretty Woman fantasy? The shopping scene of course.

* * * *

So match is over, and we call our cab. Turns out, taking a cab to Bridgehampton Polo is a rookie move. Um, they'll drop you off, but good luck getting them to comeback. The farm is about a mile hike back into town. Okay, a mile might not seem that far, but silk dress, 85 degrees and humidity. No. Far. Too far. And, walking back from Polo? Really?

The cab company that dropped us off (PSA: Never use HomeTown), tells us to hike to the front of the farm where we'll be picked up. So, we're basically hanging outside of the entrance, watching the entire parking lot empty...right in front of our eyes...and nothing. Do you know how long it takes a polo match parking lot to empty? Approximately one hour. After 45 minutes of waiting and no cab, we were starting to get a little desperate....actually soliciting people for rides. Well, sort of. In the, I'm not joking, if you're not joking sort of way. The same way married men proposention coworkers.

About ten minutes after the last car had left the match and we had really began pondering...do we walk???...........NACHO FIGUERAS pulls up in his Audi SUV and asks if we're okay.

I'm not even joking.

No, I'm not even joking.

This is how it went.

Nacho: Are you guys okay?
My Friend Ashley: Oh my god, do you want to be our hero? We're stranded.
Nacho: Where are you trying to go?
My Friend Ashley: Oh my god, you're Nacho.

Yep.......

Nacho then proceeds to explain to us that he cannot take us all the way to East Hampton because he has a dinner and he will be late, but he can take us into town, the main road, where we'll have better luck finding a taxi.

I'm not even joking.

We then proceed to pile into his car, his Audi SUV, all four of us. His beautiful, little daughter was sitting in the backseat. She must have been like 4 or 5. We ask Nacho if he'd like her to sit in the front. He says, "No, she's okay". I can't even believe Nacho is doing this. He's picking up four strangers off the side of the road and giving them a ride into town with his daughter in the backseat of the car. Of course now, we're also four preppy strangers stranded outside of a polo field who had just watched the match he played. And to my friend Ashley's husband's point, Polo....is a gentleman's sport.

So here's the best part. As we're approaching our final destination (mind you, we've been talking Nacho up from the minute we got into the car. He is impressed little by our exclaimations "We are huge fans," and more interested in my trip to Argentina later this year and who my friend Ashley knows at Ralph Lauren), Nacho............hands my friend Ashley......his trophy.....from the match!

I'm not even joking.

He says something like, "Oh, I have something for you" and gives her his trophy with a wink! The trophy that he won at the match. Oh, and the wink! I have a picture that I took of him holding the trophy at the presentation. See below. That trophy now resides in Ashley's Chelsea apartment.



Note: he probably has an entire basement filled with these things, but how amazing is that? His little girl is in the corner of the pic with her back turned to the photo. The polo players are presented their trophies with their children. Isn't that adorable?

So...of course this is how the story ends. Stranded at the polo match, only to be rescued by Mr. Polo. As much as I wanted to take photos in the backseat of his car, I felt it was kind of crass. Not very Hamptony of me. I am a fan for life now, and so getting the #2 jersery. How legit will I be in Argentina with my Ralph Lauren Black Watch #2 jersey?

Nacho = Amazing Story Ever.

Prepping for NYC: Lingerie Scouting

Tafty has been in the big apple the last week working. I'll be joining him (at last) Wednesday and spending two days in the city and the weekend in the Hamptons. My life is this glamorous. Right now I'm secreting a VA upgrade to first class. My vision board below:



I really am this ridiculous.

* * * * *

Speaking of the secret, it's not one that lingerie is a top love. I'm pretty sure the ranking order goes me, tafty, champagne then lingerie. It actually works out well in that order.

Naturally, one of my new favorite thing to do when I'm visiting a city is to check out their lingerie boutiques. Ever since my Bloody Mary induced run at Bellefleur in Seattle, it's a thing now. But NYC? I mean, beyond Europe, can you think of a better place for knickers?

While I'm specifically interested in NY only boutiques (I've already gotten several recommendations on where to go trolling), I couldn't help but notice that Kiki De Montparnasse is right around the corner of my hotel. While Kiki does have a location in my backyard (it's on Melrose), I never shop on Melrose. I should. It's just a hassle from the West Side. And it's hot and dirty in the summer (much like NY). And it's kind of a thing. Like today, I'm braving Melrose. You do find the best stuff there though. It's just a lot of work.

* * * * *

Back to Kiki. I heart them. They sell things like men's tuxedo shirts and market them as lingerie.


Brilliant. Of course that's lingerie.

* * * * *

Even their naughty items are très chic. Such as a pair of 25k gold plated hand cuffs.

Legit.

* * * * *

Or this vibrator that matches the decor of my apartment.

This looks like it's from Nicole Miller's Bed Bath and Beyond line. I've never even seen something like this before. Is that a fairy? What is that? Answer: Amazing.

* * * * *

My personal naughty fave, based on novelty alone, can be found in the bridal section. Yeah, that's right.....the bridal section. Made from harvested pearls, it's a c-ring hand crafted by E.R. Butler & Co.

This is HILARIOUS.

E.R. Butler & Co is like an old school hardware manufacture. They specialize in colonial-style door nobs and drawer handles. I just picture a real life Jepetto, hunched over a workman's bench, stringing together perfectly harvested pearls into tiny little cock rings for virgin brides on their wedding night.



It's just so funny.

* * * * *

Enough sex toys, back to the lingerie. While their muse line is definitely my favorite,



Muse Corselette Bra, On Sale $137.50

I don't think there's anything hotter than this Garter Tank, $150.



This is my number one pick.

This and their line of french lesson panties. Who needs Rosseta Stone?



Fesse-moi Panty, $65